Feeling A Bit Down
by Manic Mea
Summary: Daniel needs a friend. Jack is their to support him.
1. Chapter 1

Started September 2010

Pairing: Jack/Daniel Categories: Drama, Established Relationship, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mature themes.  
Season/Episode: season 2: Need

Fandom: Stargate SG1

Note: My first attempt of writing since I left school in 97 hope you like it. This was also supposed to be a test run and to write just a small piece but it had other ideas.

Special thanks to Holdt and Pinkdiamonds who helped with all my mistakes with this story and all the useful tips. I also want to thank everyone at council of the plot bunny for pushing me in the right direction.

Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions etc. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Feeling a bit down**

By Manic Mea

* * *

Part 1

I wonder if Jack will ever trust me on his team, again. I m not used to being ordered about and refuse to follow some orders Just like the other day when I saw a woman running through some trees, about to kill herself. I couldn t just stand their and watch someone end her life.

Hey, Daniel, you okay? Speak of the devil.

Jack thought it would be good for me to get away from everyone. I m quite emotional at the moment, still trying to come to terms with everything that has happened. I also suspect that I m holding something back I m not ready to talk yet.

I quickly wipe my face and I hope he doesn t notice the tear tracks. I fold my arms but don t turn from the window. I can feel the cold seeping into my bones as the rain splashes down outside the walls. I like the peace and quiet up here in Minnesota, there is something comforting in watching the trees be blown about, with the gusty wind knocking fallen leaves down into the water. I hope it warms up soon; I m cold even with my favourite white wool sweater.

I m fine. Lies always taste like ashes in my mouth, and I know the self-hugging thing is a dead giveaway, but I just can t bring my self to say what I feel.

No, you re not. He moves closer to me and puts his arms around my waist.

His voice is closer than I expected and I really ought to be used to the commando stealth by now, but somehow it s always surprising. I don t move.

I love the feel of his warm body leaning close to me I feel safe when Jack is this close to me. Never going to admit to it verbally but even so, he knows I like it.

You want to tell me what s bugging you? Jack s tone is gentle and caring and his hands tighten as I physically relax into his embrace.

I shake my head helplessly. I m biting my lip, trying to stop my quivering. It s all I can do to hold back the tears I know are coming. I m sorry for everything, Jack. Oh god. I know my voice is breaking but I can t control it.

After saying those words I can t hold in my misery any longer. I m trying to stop, I really am but I m crying so hard, I can feel my cheeks getting hot. I hate crying. I HATE it. There are few things more humiliating than being a 6 foot 2 pile of blubbering mess. Sometimes I don t even know why Jack bothers with me when all I do is screw up.

I can feel Jack moving around me and before I know it he s in front of me, holding me while scorching tears ruin the front of his pale red shirt. Why do I keep on doing things my way and end up getting the team in some type of trouble?

I don t often think of the consequences of my actions when I try and help other people. I have a need to help I can t stand back and just watch. I have to protect those who are desperate and in need of a friend.

I know I should wait for Jack s word, and not get involved until he says so, but I just react, on instinct alone. I have this burning need to do what s right to help, especially when I see someone in distress. I m calming down and sniffling some trying to get myself under more control again.

Are you calming down now? He slackens his hold on me and kisses me on the forehead. I look up and stare into his eyes and I can see the worry reflecting from them. I wipe my face again and look at the wet patch on his shirt. Aw crap, why do I keep thinking about all the bad things I did?

Yeah, I'm sorry about the shirt and the mission! I look up again and kiss him which feels good. Jack reacts to my kiss so I start kissing him more intensely. I just love the warm moist taste of his mouth as I deepen the kiss. I suddenly get an awful image in my head and break off the kiss.

I m a little shook up with kissing Jack and I briefly thought of that place. I really don t want to think about that.

Don t worry about it. Just, next time I give you an order will you please follow it.

I just look at him with red rimmed eyes and nod. My throat is tight and dry, and I don t think I could get the words out if I tried.

Come on let s go sit down.

I still have his warm arm on my shoulder as we go and sit in front of the fire. I ve never known anyone have such a comfy couch in a cabin before.

Danny, Jack says gently as he grabs my hand.

Yes? I whisper back, looking down at our entwined fingers. I love feeling Jack s hand touching mine which keeps me grounded in the here and now and not on that planet.

Are you still thinking of Shyla and what she did to you?

I can t look at him.

I should try to talk.

I will talk.

I really don t want to talk.

I do it anyway, because this is Jack and this is me, and this is us. I can trust him with my nightmares.

Yes and the sarcophagus. Every time I close my eyes I think I m back there again.

I can t believe I let her do that to me while you were trapped down the mine with Sam and Teal c. Why is it always me that gets you and rest team into trouble?

She was playing with your head so don t start worrying about that. We got out and you re still recovering from the ordeal.

You still want me on your team? Evan after I screwed the last mission for us? I m afraid of what his answer will be. After all, I didn t follow any orders. Then to go get everyone captured and finally end up addicted to the sarcophagus.

Look at me Danny. I turn to look at him and dread what he s about to say. He speaks softly but is tone in his voice is very serious. He lifts my hands to his chest and stares at me, gives me a warm smile then takes a deep breathe.

You are a member of SG1 my team and you are most definitely irreplaceable. Don t you ever think for ONE second, I want you off the team? Daniel

Jack I-

Let me finish Danny this is hard for me but you need to hear it!

Without you we wouldn t BE as good as we are. YOU are the one who keeps us grounded. YOU are the heart of the group. Since I met you you ve kept me honest. For crying out loud, baby you made me a whole person again AND you saved my life!

Don t think I d ever forget it I could never. He pulls me forwards and I automatically put my arms around him. I can t help but grin like an idiot as I look at Jack.

Wow Jack I m, um speechless I eh- don t know what to say, all the words in the world couldn t be good enough . What the hell do I say to Jack now? I m shocked and I ve got that warm feeling when you feel good.

Thanks Jack. That means an awful lot, especially coming from you. I lean closer and kiss Jack; he kisses me back so I kiss him even more. We then come up for air.

Good, because I meant every single word of it. I m deeply moved and can t believe how much Jack thinks of me.

Well! That s out in the open you feeling better now? He reaches out and squeezes my shoulder which I love and again, he knows it.

Yeah thanks. I look up and give him a shy smile.

Good, you want to go outside and go catch some huge big honkin smelly fish then?

I can t help but laugh when he gets that big goofy grin on his face.

Sure why not? Even though I hate fishing, I could always take my journal out with me.

Sweet let s go. He is very happy to finally go fishing.

I just stand there with my arms folded, watching him gathering all the equipment we ll need. I grab my journal then pick up some of the gear and help take them outside. Jack s following close behind me.

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Feeling a bit down Authors: Manic Mea and Holdt Date: 25th March 2011 Email: Email: Website: /  
Link to: Series: Feeling. Feeling a bit down Part 2 Rating: R Pairings: Jack/Daniel Category: episode related, 1st Person POV, Angst, Comfort, Established Relationship, H/C (Emotional), Sad,  
Season: 2 season Episode: Need Warnings: Language Summary: Daniel needs help Jack is their to support him. Notes: My first attempt of writing since I left school in 97 hope you like it. This was supposed to be a test run to write a small piece but it had other ideas.

Special thanks to Holdt my beta and friend. Who has been totally amazing and has added a big chunk of the story to make it so much better.  
Word Count: 1,681 -

Part 2 - Jack s pov

It s late. Before I turn my head I already know Danny s not in bed with me anymore. The space next to me feels cold so I Know he s been up for hours. I move the covers and get my ass out of bed. As usual my knees never fail to let me know I m getting too old for this. I m getting too old for a lot of things, but this, what s happening now; it can t ever be one of them. I m betting Daniel is still thinking about that stupid witch and everything else he blames himself for.

May as well get dressed and find out what Prince Charming is doing at this god awful hour. It feels around 5 or 6am, a good brisk morning for me. Penance for Daniel. I have to find him. Before I do that, nature is calling pretty loudly. If I don t go right now I ll end up leaving a nice lovely smelly puddle on the floor Some days I miss having dogs and other days not so much.

I walk into the joining room, quickly empty my bladder, wash hands and splash some cold water on my face to wake myself up a bit more. Much better. Now that s out of the way I ll see about my wayward archaeologist.

I walk down the hall, headed for the den and stop in my tracks. Daniel s standing near the big shabby looking window that overlooks the front walk. I take advantage of his preoccupation to examine him, the tilt of his head, and the stubborn set of shoulders. We came too close to losing him. I came too close, to that, and other things I d rather not think about right now, and Christ, look at that frame work. It really could do with a fresh coat of white paint.

I wonder if Daniel would ever notice something as mundane as that. I lean against the door frame, watching briefly but I know he s not really looking outside. He s oblivious, lost in his own head. Light glints off his face and suddenly this watching isn t so cool anymore. I feel sick. I feel like a fucking half-assed voyeur. I move away from the doorway with a deliberate scuff of my foot against the unvarnished floor, and let Danny know I m here.

Hey Daniel, you okay? That sounded good, natural.

He jumps slightly and quickly moves his hand towards his face then folds them together. Yeah, Daniel as if I m going to miss that movement.

I m fine. Sure you are. And I m the tooth fairy.

No, you re not.

I move closer to Danny and put my arms around his waist. I think I made him jump again when I came close to him. The O Neill charm must be working because he doesn t move. He s cold, and I wonder again how long he s been staring out the window.

You wanna tell me what s bugging you? I speak softer, in the tone that I know gets through some of his defenses. He s built up a mountain of them, over the years of being alone.

I can feel him shaking and I know he can t hold back much longer. I wait it out, stay silent while I continue comforting him. It s too late to pretend I didn t see. This is the only way I know how to give him space at times like these.

I m sorry for everything Jack. Oh crap. It s one of those nights, then. I hate seeing Daniel like this. I quickly get in front of him and rub his back while holding on to him until he s got some control back. I tell myself this is an aberration, that it ll pass, that it s just the damn sarc fucking with him again.  
Of course it is.

I wonder just how pissed he ll be at me for coddling him, when he s back to being the magnificently stubborn bastard I fell in love with. - I inhale him, cool spice, and warm vanilla soap. Some weird herbal shit that reminds me of hot wind and cold Stella. The ghost of coriander and lime from the crappy box-Thai we murdered last night. Myself.  
Daniel.

Are you calming down now? I kiss him on the forehead. I stare into his eyes and I can see how red and watery they still are. He wipes his face and looks down to stare at my shirt.

Yeah sorry about your shirt and the mission He s kissing me. I love it. I can t ever get enough. My response is to open my mouth, invite him in for more. That s it baby lay it on me. Daniel pulls back abruptly, shockingly fast.  
O-kay Note to self; remember to brush your damn teeth next time. I ll let it pass for now, but later you are so gonna hear about it, Mr, I eat hummus at 3am. I smile and let my hand palm the back of his neck lightly.

Don t worry about it. Just, next time I give you an order will you please follow it. I knew I wouldn t get a reply wasn t really expecting one. Nice to know Daniel will never change. He can get over this. We can get over this.  
Well I guess that s why I love him so much.

Okay, Colonel. Time to get to work. I give a smile and a tug at his fingers.

Come on let s go sit down. I guide us towards the couch in front of the fire. He lets go of me and tries to do his magic fold up trick. Uh uh.

Daniel I reclaim his hand and give it a slight squeeze.

Yes. He won t look at me.

I keep my tone light, project confidence and support and all that shit they teach you in OTS. MacKenzie, eat your heart out.

Are you thinking of Shyla and what she did to you?

I know that this is hard for him and he hates talking about it. No big change there. No pressure. I do my damnedest to convey it without a word. No pressure, Danny you don t have to answer. It s a lie, even if unspoken, and he s not stupid.  
I wish and hope he does answer.  
Daniel doesn t disappoint me.

"Yes, and the sarcophagus. Every time I close my eyes, I think I m back there again. The sorrow is an old friend by now. Oh Danny what am I going to do with you? I d better not let him fall asleep without me next to him for a while

I can t believe I let her do that to me while you were trapped down in the mine with Sam and Teal c. Why is it always me that gets you and the rest of the team into trouble?

Bullshit, Daniel.

She was playing with your mind so don t start in on that. We got out and you re still recovering from the ordeal... more so than the rest of us.

That bitch. He wouldn t let me talk to her. Smart man. There d be one less dead bitch in the world. Okay, one more. The anger hits low, and it s all I can do to keep it in. That fucking BITCH.  
And Daniel I take a deep breath and firmly tell myself to deal with my betrayal shit on my own time. Now is not my time. But later oh boy. Later Shit. Focus on Daniel. On Daniel.

You still want me on your team? After all I screwed up the last mission? Predictable, we re going to have to work on that, too. I d better tell him some home truths, maybe this will help Daniel Right, here goes nothing.  
Nothing and everything.

Look at me. Daniel finally looks at me, somewhat reluctantly.

You are a member of SG-1, my team and you are most definitely irreplaceable. Don t you ever even think for ONE second, I want you off the team. Daniel Without you we wouldn t BE as good as we are. You are the one that keeps us grounded. YOU are the heart of the group. Since I ve met you you ve kept me honest. For crying out loud, baby you made me a whole person again AND you saved my life! Don t think I d ever forget it I could never.

Danny s mouth opened and closes a few times before I figure out that he s trying to tell me something. Huh. Nice bass impression.

Thanks Jack. That means an awful lot, especially coming from you.

I ll let that one go too, Dannyboy. Feeling well enough to take pot shots at the old man, huh? Suddenly it seems warmer somehow. I shoot a grin.

Good, because I meant every single word I said. I can t help but grin a little wider at his reaction. Especially coming from me, huh? I can live with that.

Well! That s out in the open - you feeling better now? I reach out and squeeze Danny s shoulder which I know he loves me doing to reassure him.

I wonder if he knows that I know that he loves it, and give that train of thought up as way too fucking convoluted at this time of morning.

Yes. He looks up from his hands and gives me his small shy smile that always makes me melt. I m stuck, frozen solid and he s starting to look at me like he looks at those crap-ass leftover poppadoms he hides in the back of the freezer when he thinks my back s turned quick, say something stupid before I turn into a cream puff! Um

Good, you want to go outside and go catch some huge, big honkin , smelly fish then? Yeah, that threw him. Points for embarrassing volume too! Not actually fishing but who says I can t have fun at Daniel s expense?

Sure why not?

Sweet. Better think quick before Daniel catches onto my plan. I grab the fishing gear and the other equipment; while Daniel helps me take out some stuff I go grab the lube.

I catch up to him at the dock and for the life of me, can t stop grinning.


End file.
